Over the years, I’ve had to make small changes to our home either as a safety measure or to accommodate dad’s increasing needs.

In no particular order, here are some things that have been put in place:

1. Our warm-toned lights have been replaced by fluorescent ones – it’s jarring – but bright lights are strongly recommended to help with sundowning effects and less disturbed sleep patterns for people with Dementia. Our lights come on right after lunch and stays on till we call it a day

2. Safety handles have been installed in dad’s bathroom: one next to the commode and another in the shower cubicle

3. When I renovated our bathrooms a few years ago, I opted for non-slip tiles – they are difficult to scrub clean, but there’s a price for everything

4. The use of rugs and carpets are minimized to prevent potential trips

5. Comfortable armchairs and sofas have replaced teak and rattan furniture

6. Sensor lights are placed in dad’s room at the foot of his bed, although a night light is kept on till the morning. Also, I’ve recently left the bathroom light on with the door slightly ajar so he can easily identify the toilet when he wakes up during the night

7. The furniture in dad’s room has been rearranged in such a way that he is just a few steps away from the toilet, as opposed to having his bed farther away. I did this for a few reasons – he doesn’t have to walk more than three steps to get to the toilet, and he can see and identify the toilet as soon as he sits up on his bed

8. Dad’s closet is organized as such: day use clothes on one side of the closet, sleep wear on the other. Short-sleeved shirts are arranged separately from long-sleeved shirts, and all his trousers in yet another section. I do this because it provides order and familiarity so he knows where to look for what he needs.

9. I installed what I call a ‘daddy cam’ in his room (a camera) so I can keep an eye and ear out on him during the night. Because he sometimes wakes up in the dead of night to get dressed for ‘work’, or to shower or shave, the camera allows me to pick up on the noise and tuck him into bed again

10. Sometime in 2020, dad got dressed at 3am with the intention of going to church. Luckily the alarm went off as he attempted to unlock the main door. Since that day, I installed the daddy cam, the house keys are kept in my room every night and to prevent him from wandering about at night, I attached a jute string to the door handle inside his room and secured it to a hook on the wall outside the room. In case of a dire emergency, a hard tug will give the string away, releasing the door. It was either that or lock him in his room, which was not an option. I used to sleep in his room on a spare mattress on the floor but after the initial few months of doing this, my back injuries resurfaced.

11. The balcony gate is locked during the afternoons so that dad does not wander alone into the garden when no one is around keeping a close watch on him. A garden chair replaced mom’s potted ferns so that he can enjoy the outdoors during the afternoons as well.

12. Being outdoors and getting as much sun as possible is recommended for daddy, so our apartment garden has an outdoor garden set, and there are a range of plants and a veggie patch that interests him. Some evenings, he sits there pruning flower plants by removing dead leaves, and every morning he sits in the garden to read his papers and work on his Word Search.

13. When dad’s sundowning symptoms start (usually mid-afternoon and lasts till we go to bed), he keeps asking to go ‘home’. The apartment becomes an unfamiliar place for him. In an effort to ease his confusion, I got a large address plate fixed to our main apartment door. When he starts asking to go ‘home’, I point him to the address plate and ask him to check it against his Identity Card. It’s helped a bit, but it has not stopped him asking to go ‘home’. Thanks to Covid-19, I usually say that we can’t go anywhere due to the lockdown, and newspaper articles which I have pinned up on a board can confirm this for him.

A couple of other things I plan to do:

1. To level our floors at home – from rooms to the hall and balcony. Even if no one is on a wheelchair, it makes sense to get this done now

2. To raise dad’s bathroom sink to a more suitable level as he bends too much over it at the moment